Let’s be honest straight off the bat. I can see he is useless. You can see he is useless. About 45 million supporters can see he is useless. His own players can see he is useless as well as his coaching support staff can see he is useless. The media and the public know he is a terrible coach, but, just as the naked emperor prancing down the street, the shocked observers just cannot seem to get themselves to shout “But look! He doesn’t even know how to coach a provincial side!”
Or, seemingly more appropriately, what is the use of pointing out the obvious if the emperor’s guard (Government, SARU, whatever) poke the bystanders with their swords of guilt and retribution. The unwritten rule is – You DON’T point out that any Affirmative Action token is incompetent. You WILL be branded a racist – fuck – even black reporters weren’t spared the wrath of Peter De Villiers for questioning his quota selections. He will brand you a racist, SARU will brand you a racist and the government will brand you a racist. No wonder the South African media, respected rugby writers and journalists as well as popular presenters and commentators have all followed suit and, in their refusal to criticize or point out the obvious, have condoned the reckless and ultimately inept coach of our national squad.
We here at Kiefpant have doubted the extent to which P Divvie (yes, it is funny, I will use it throughout) actually coaches the team – as opposed to just making selection decisions and fucking up media sessions. Suggestions have been made that Smit, Matfield, Smith and probably Burger have been keeping the side together with collective experience and momentum alone. The juggernaut that was the 2007 Springbok team is gradually slowing down and will, with enough government intervention and Peter De Villiers’ ignorance, grind to a depressing halt – most likely before or during the upcoming Tri Nations. The 3rd test against a battered and injured Lions side showed just how far the coach’s inability to understand some basic fundamentals of rugby stretches. He is a terrible tactician, horribly exposed in this series, his technical knowledge is sub-par – at best. He was most definitely NOT selected for his rugby knowledge, man-management or strategic know-how. As has been shown in the last few weeks – he most definitely was not appointed Springbok coach due to his eloquence and ability to handle the media either.
He has rightfully been labeled a clown and, summing up countless articles that have sprung up recently, an idiot. The fact that the Pommie media do not often get exposed to the farcical administrators and coaches in South Africa was evident due to the great shock and disbelief they exhibited every time the schmuck opened his mouth. “Did he really say that?” is possibly the most common response after a media briefing. For those still confused as to why Peter De Villiers gets so much criticism – let me spell it out:
Peter De Villiers is a quota appointment.
This relatively short statement is a fact – SARU have admitted as much – this is why our beloved Springbok team has a blithering idiot as a coach as opposed to, say, Heynecke Meyer who is a tried and tested coach with actual credentials, titles and the ability to handle rugby players and steer them towards victories that are in relation to their ability. Meyer was hard done by in that he missed out on the appointment due to having the terrible affliction of being white.
Being a quota player or coach also means that the reason you are there (you aren’t white) absolves you of so much. You don’t have to be capable to perform your job. Peter De Villiers has inherited one of the most powerful ‘Bok squads for a very long time. Jake White’s efforts over the four long and hard years up to 2007 ensured that there was a solid first 15, adequate depth and a well-oiled unit capable of beating anything put in front of them. They were a complete squad, covering all the bases and having very, very few weaknesses. This was taken summarily and placed in the inept hands of Peter De Villiers.
The disease is widespread though, like a cancer that starts off a rotten base (government and SARU) and infects everything around it; the unions, the clubs, the players, the public and more importantly – the media. The entire rugby viewing public cringed when a player-turned-presenter (whom I respec, by the way) on the popular South African rugby show “Boots & All” tried to force-feed the public into telling us that the only two scrumhalf options for the upcoming Lions series are Fourie Du Preez and, yes, wait for it, Ricky Januarie. “Who is Ricky Januarie again?” I hear you say. He is that fat little halfback that is the slowest and worst distributor of a rugby ball off the base of the scrum, he is a terrible player. We all knew when he scored that try in New-Zealand that it cemented his place in the Springbok team for 5 more years. It is a shame because he is so, so, so bad. Poor Morne Steyn had to get his very first touch of the ball in the 1st test from Januarie, a shocking pass in his own goal area under pressure – he handled it masterfully though, thank fuck. We cannot blame international viewers for being shocked at the exclusion of mighty performers as Jano Vermaak and Rory Kockott for the inept Januarie. An Exceptional selection there Peter.
Januarie has not been able to hold down a place in his provincial team for some time now. The fact that a professional sportsman, a rugby player no less, is allowed to let himself slide so badly is despicable. Rassie Erasmus benching Januarie for most of the season had absolutely NO bearing on him being selected for the ‘Boks – believe it or not. Not only is that a slap in the face of anybody remotely aware of what rugby is, but then you have Bobby Skinstad trying to convince us that the fat fuck deserves a place in the national squad. Embarrassing. This is what I mean with a cancer. It spreads. It has spread to otherwise intelligent, knowledgeable ex-rugby players. I KNOW that Bobby was watching the same Super 14 games as us because he commentated on them, his endorsement of bad rugby players is tantamount to support for P Divvie’s terrible decisions (or indecisions – “… I changed the team 4 or 5 times in one week…”). Terrible.
The hilarity (idiocy) does not stop there. On rightfully being questioned about his odd selections (I have not even started on Earl Rose) Peter De Villiers, believe it or not, pulled out that trump card of his – racism. The fact that the entire planet questioned an incapable Januarie’s inclusion meant that they were all racists. Remember how I explained earlier that any AA selection does not actually have to be capable, it hasn’t rung more true than for Januarie, Rose and P Divvie himself. De Villiers, the dumb fuck, completely disregards the fact that the very same supporters he is branding as racist are the very same supporters who scream their lungs out at Beast Mtwarira every time he just looks at the ball. They worship the ground Habana walks on and they love JP Pietersen. But when we question the inclusion of an overweight, inept and B-rate scrumhalf we are branded racists. You cannot compete with flawed logic like that – especially not when it has the protection of the entire government at its back and the support of the media.
The same supporters are the ones that endure week after week of laughable performances by Earl Rose – so bad that in a franchise that has problems finding quota players, they cannot get themselves to pick him for the run on side. They would rather suffer the attacks and retribution from the government than field the obviously inept Rose, that says a lot. The poor kid has been shifted all round the park just to be able to find a position where he does the least damage. He has been woeful since he picked up a rugby ball, Western Province must have partied for weeks when they managed to offload him to the Golden Lions.
It was therefore sickening, utterly disgusting, when Earl was selected to play fly-half for the “Emerging Springboks” against the touring Lions. This after Loffie Eloff’s replacement at the Golden Lions also placed him on the bench for the franchise’s match against the B&I Lions. Two coaching teams couldn’t find a place for Earl Rose in the squad, but this means nothing to the rugby genius that is Peter De Villiers who had a little hissy fit and barred the Lions from using Rose at all because he was benched.
Earl duly responded and posted a performance as useless as his career has been to date. In admittedly terrible weather he managed to fumble, stutter, drop, knock and trip his way to a bad a performance – which is a resounding improvement. He missed all but one or two kicks at posts – with the utterly sickening commentators (the spreading cancer) constantly reminding us of how bad the weather is – how brilliantly he managed to strike the ball (it nearly hit the corner flag you dumb fucks) and how amazing he is doing in these conditions. Every touch was praised, every step he took had the commentators cheering like they would a little useless baby-giraffe’s first steps. They were insulting the rugby viewing public’s intelligence in thinking we would fall for that crap. We didn’t, it is obvious Earl is kak. It was enforced when Willem De Waal, a decidedly average flyhalf came on and turned the game around.
He did the basics and the backline moved. In the very same atrocious conditions De Waal kicked a goal from the touchline to draw the game. A pressure kick only surpassed by Morne Steyn’s contributions in the 2nd test. But, Earl Rose was the darling child of the coaching and commentating team. A spreading cancer I tell you. A spreading cancer. What the paying public wouldn’t give for honest commentators and announcers.
Perhaps the most farcical of Peter De Villiers’ weaponry is his in-game tactical nous. Yes, nous. On paper and taking experience into account – the Springboks should have won this series 3-0 and each game by 15 points or more. No argument required. The fact that we scraped a win in two tests and gave away the 3rd is a tragedy. There are very few human specimens as hated as the average pommie journalist. They are deluded and suffer from extreme bias. They are the worst whingers, whiners and moaners that can be found in any collective group. The worst thing we as South Africans could have given the British Media was:
1. One or many controversial incidents
2. Close games where the difference is less than a disputed try or penalty
3. A win of ANY kind
We should have won 3-0 with complete domination and no chance of a collective whine from the British Isles. They would then HAVE to turn on their own players rather than manufactured incidents.
As it turns out we failed in (1), (2) and (3). It is therefore not surprising then that each and every single British journalist is having a field day – South Africans are dirty ruffians who only won because of our disgusting foul play (1). We are not as good as we think and deserved to lose the series, not win it, in fact – we only won because of the ref, TV-ref, luck, pick one (2). The Lions are heroes and warriors among men because they came here and conquered, the last test was epic and shows just how much more superior they are to the Springboks (3). Painful. Painful indeed.
The above is all Peter De Villiers’ fault and he ensured that a potentially brilliant team plays mediocre, come from behind rugby, relying on the stars within the squad to save/win the game despite his ridiculous tactical decision-making and nonsensical selections.
The Ozzie and Kiwi coaches, players and fans will be licking their lips at the prospect of clashing with a powerful side without a commander at the helm. There really is no-one to steer the Springbok ship – it is a case of the passengers trying to navigate the seas without a navigator on board. As has been noted elsewhere on this website – quota players are there to stay – hence the forced inclusion of a below par player like Adi Jacobs. Despite popular opinion, he has made a tackle in his life before, but it was a few years ago and no cameras were on hand to record it. He hasn’t made a tackle since then and doesn’t look likely to do so in the near future – not when the next few players opposite him will be the likes of Mortlock, Nonu, Smith etc. Until he finally moves on he will continue to put pressure on his own channel and force Jean De Villiers to do double defensive duty and the team having to spread the flankers wider just to be able to provide cover behind the leaking Jacobs. Wonderful selection there Peter. Brilliant.
We are not likely to see the back of P Divvie for a while, he is an outspoken ANC member and all his failures can be blamed on the press, racists and hidden agendas, of course. When those are exhausted I am sure he will locate some more flimsy, weak and transparent excuses other than provide actual reasons for him being a bungling fool at the helm of a potentially powerful squad. It is only a few very special coaches who can manage to obliterate a dominant performance like the ‘Boks in the 1st Lions test and turn that into a defeat (but for a few try-saving tackles). Also, only a few special coaches have the ability to take the all-conquering ‘Boks of 2007 and make them end last the following Tri Nations, with the core group all playing no less.
Maybe that is his skill. He will continue throwing obstacles in the way of John Smit and the lads in order to give them character, make them stronger and force them to work harder for a win that would otherwise have occurred easily. P Divvie went out of his way to give the Lions as much ball, momentum and field position to win the series. Maybe, if the Ozzies and Kiwi’s are lucky, he will grant them the same privileges and be known as the most generous, yet, moronic, Springbok coach in recent memory.
The Emperor has no clothes. The Emperor got the job because he is black. The media are well aware of this fact (save for a few outspoken individuals) and are following the line nicely – good little journalists – treating Peter De Villiers as if he is an actual coach. Bobby Skinstad, John Robbie, Andy Capostanio (or whoever the commentator was trying to feed us crap about Earl Rose being able to play rugby), Naas Botha and all the other presenters – please, grow some balls and call it like it is. Pretending that the Springboks have a proper coach is only making it worse, what will you say after a Tri Nations disaster? Whose fault will it be? What will we blame it on then? The Jake White Green Machine is running out of gas fast. Peter De Villiers has managed to coach the machine to a terrible Tri Nations and a mediocre Lions Series (in terms of results, the fact that it was so close was exciting but ultimately a false reflection on what should have happened – a 3-0 whitewash of epic proportions).
The All Blacks, with all their injuries and low confidence are there for the taking. Unfortunately for South Africans, Peter De Villiers himself doesn’t have the foggiest idea how he must go about to beat the Kiwi B-Team, nevermind a below-par Ozzie side that is starting to look dangerous under the excellent Robbie Deans.
We deserve a proper coach. The supporters deserve a coach that is equal to the exceptional talent and abilities within the Springbok squad and is able to adequately harness and steer the squad to the victories they deserve. Is it not possible to enforce quota selections at managerial and coaching level without making us the laughing stock of professional rugby?
We deserve an emperor with clothes.
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