Well, it’s almost Ashes time again and despite both teams showing a remarkable ability of late to lose for no reason, this could end up being a fairly close contest (in the same sort of way that Afghanistan vs Bermuda is close). It’s been commonly agreed that Australia are touring with too few batsmen, which they may end up regretting, but by the same token, England have as many batsmen as they need available to them, yet can’t seem to shake the brittleness that’s been plaguing them for the past year or so.
With all this in mind, we’ve decided to offer up a few of our own predictions regarding the series. Please note that we at Kiefpant bear absolutely no ill will towards bitchy, whiny, arrogant, attention-whoring ex-pats with identity crises.
Dean
#1: Phil Hughes will score runs, but not set the world alight. His problem against the short ball will be exposed.
#2: Mitch Johnson will not rip through England like he did South Africa. They dont struggle against lefties and he is still a loose cannon. He will go for plenty
#3: Aussie spinners are going to have little impact, while England’s Swann is going to be in the wickets
#4: Australia is going to lose the Ashes.
#5: Kevin Pieterson will get hit by a bus. No one will care
Jay
#1: England’s middle order will win the series for them
#2: Brett Lee will be Australia’s highest wicket taker
#3: Aus will play at least one (probably two or more) of the tests without a specialist spinner
#4: James Anderson will finally realise some of his potential and cause The Aussies all kinds of issues
#5: Kevin Pietersen will score nothing, be dropped, slated by the media and disappear into obscurity where he belongs
Stefan
#1: Ozzie will win despite going there without enough batsmen
#2: Ponting to have a monster tour after being so insulted by his own countrymen for being one of the worst Ozzie captains in recent memory.
#3: England will fold at least once due to ridiculous batting and will be duly slaughtered by their own press (possibly the first test) prompting KP to lash out at the media, the support, the coach and quota selections in KZN.
#4: Johnson to get injured near the end of the tour because Ponting makes him bowl 60 overs a day, again.
#5: Rudi Koertzen has to get a hearing aid after standing to close when KP snaps BOTH achilles tendons trying to take a quick single
Justin
#1: Peter Siddle will be Australia’s leading wicket taker at the end of the series.
#2: Mitchell Johnson will break some England players’ hands.
#3: Kevin Pietersen will be England’s leading run scorer for the series, including 3 centuries.
#4: Ricky Ponting will fined for dissent.
#5: After losing the second test, Shane Warne will offer himself for selection for the rest of the series, be declined and end up having a three some with Pietersen’s not so famous wife and some hookers, in an S&M fiasco that eclipses the Max Mosely scandal.
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